I've stumbled across some old notes and notebooks that have been really interesting to reread. There are great memories, forgotten interests and even superheroes hidden in these old scrawls so I'm going to start posting bits and thinking about them and see what I can rediscover.

This first one was some reflection after a fab wierd, scary, amazing experience we called Facilitation Jam. Great memories thanks to Meg, Doug, Tash, Martin, Julie, Sukh, Flora and Ian. (I think).

So what did I learned from the Facilitation Jam?

Here's what I wrote on Feb 4th after reading David's post on out private microsite

I’m really not sure I know what I got from the Jam, or I’m not bright enough to understand and articulate it, and maybe that is why I haven’t shared and reflected anything back to the group. I also know I don’t often seek out the time to think about what I learn, I tend to rely on something happening inside that means I can magically recall/make links/learn/apply etc. (hey I didn’t say it works, just that I rely on it).

So what I do know is that David’s post below has helped me in some way, or at least it has prodded me into action, told me to crack on and do something and that doing something is forcing me to have a little think about what was so great about the Jam. And that could prove to be helpful.

Some of the stuff that was important for me started with the very act of signing up for the Jam in the first place, it was a bit scary…in a good way! How else can you describe the thought of facilitating a bunch of expert facilitators? But that feeling is also the buzz that makes it worthwhile. (Lean into it) The thought of presenting something that I thought might be interesting to explore (for me) and knowing that I didn’t know anything like enough about it but also being able to play with it and for some of it to work was all really really thrilling and motivating. A good Buzz

The opportunity to see others experiment and guide in loads of different ways was ace, new content, old content refreshed, stylistic differences, playin’ with my heart ‘n’ playin’ with my head and all that jazz. All there for me to soak up hungrily, but without the pressure of a defined learning outcome or a competence or an assessment. The chance to Play

I also loved the chat and discussion, that flowed around the content we shared, hearing and seeing everyones thought processes as they played with our offerings, finding interesting morsels and dissecting them slowly, gently and respectfully, to understand what was going on, how they might be useful, how they might have an impact, what they might mean for others. You are all such bright cookies. but it was also the chats we had when we weren’t ‘in session’, the conversations that touched on our whole lives that added colour and depth and humour and stories and and and. The space to chat.

So I did take some stuff away, thanks for that guys, and I haven’t touched on snowballs and beer, a combo which should be kept well away from my competitive streak.

So it's 3 months further on and what have I learned.

I was very nervous, I wasn't sure exactly what to expect (which is fine) and I worried that I didn't have anything valuable or useful to bring, particularly given the high regard and respect I have for the other participants, in my eyes they are all experts in this field, so what could they learn from little old me?

So even just signing up took a bit of a leap. (keep looking for the net)

The fear and nerves bit is probably a sign that there is something worthwhile going on because it was the most nerve-wracking stuff that I found the most valuable. I thought the chance to genuinely experiment with new stuff was both terrifying and inspiring, it felt like it took a fair amount of courage to introduce a session that had only really been a germ of an idea in my mind and that I hadn't practiced and perfected. The fact that this was set up as a 'Jam' helped because in my mind a Jam session is an opportunity to bring something into the room to test it and see where it goes without feeling pressure for it to be complete or polished.

It also helped that some of the early contributions were brave, when Martin took us for a walk it set the tone that anything goes and courage was the order of the day. How could I chicken out after that, how would I feel if I played safe and introduced something tried and tested. So I gave myself permission to take a risk and to try something with the chance that it might fall flat. Actually I would have been quite disappointed if all the sessions had been polished, complete and safe, that's not what I wanted from others so why should I try and do that. I took a lot from that experiment, taking that risk and getting feedback that I really valued and it has had an impact on what I do, I am definitely getting braver with my own work , happier to bring a bit of edge in and really keen to explore without necessarily knowing where I'm going to end up.

I think I learnt a great deal about experimentation with groups, how it isn't for everyone, and how the powerful stuff is filled with emotion, and it isn't always right for the participant to and that can prompt a load of different responses. I also saw a lot of fantastic light touch facilitation that gave the participants the space to explore themselves and led to some really powerful emotional responses (the poetry and painting particularly). It reinforced my feeling that less is often more.

I also found out that my personal energy has an impact, I think I knew that already but I am a devil for knocking my own contribution so the feedback I got from the day had real impact.

When you create a space where a group feel comfortable, where there isn't an 'expert' telling us what's right and wrong, where everyone is up for experimentation and thirsty to learn then great stuff can happen.

What could be better?

I'm not sure, when something is as free and open as the Jam I don't know if you can make it better? I think we perhaps could be a bit better at the feedback stuff and we could have Jammed more, and by that I mean built on the stuff that was shared and tried to take it somewhere else in that spirit of experimentation. But to be honest I'm not sure if we would have had the time or if it would have taken away from what we did.